TRANSFORMATION

How quickly and radically things can change in a few short days! This is a very personal blog entry today. Many of you know that my mom passed on unexpectedly 2 years ago August 4th. It was a shock and an event that I had dreaded as far back as I can remember. My mother was awesome, my best friend and the person who was always in my corner and vice versa. She was so sweet and giving, more often than not putting others ahead of herself. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Every coin has two sides and every personality characteristic has a positive and negative component to it. Anyway, my mom was my greatest role model and I miss her beyond description.

Since then my dad has been having some health problems and we have had to go through some very rough changes together. He too is very sweet, exceedingly generous, with a great sense of humor and on the other hand can have moments that are challenging to deal with. We have had the opportunity to discover each other and develop a relationship without the buffer of mom. It has been one of the hardest and most wonderful, rewarding, and heartbreaking times of my life. It has been stressful to be a caregiver, coordinate other caregivers, and generally take care of every aspect of his life, and to watch and worry as he daily makes a decision to participate in life to varying degrees. I have resorted at times to teasing, cajoling, screaming and crying to motivate him.

Many situations I have handled beautifully, many I have not, mostly from fear. As I was juggling this and all responsibilities and obligations in the other areas of my life I know I have been alternately stressed, sad, exhausted, stoic, hysterical, loving, giving, sometimes fun, and sometimes not. Through it all I have had the most wonderful support (particularly if I stretched out of my comfort zone and asked for it) from a precious relationship and dear friends.

Since life is full of change and transitions when you least expect it I am now a single woman again!


I find it fascinating how we are all such a product of our parents and environment. For better, for worse, how we are formed and shaped forever by our families. My greatest wish for all of us is to find that someone, our safe place where we can be accepted for who we are and become more of who we want to be because of each other. To have the strength and vulnerability to go through the good, the bad, the ugly, the beautiful and the mundane together. Just my humble opinion.